How To Keep Strife Out Of Your Home
“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”
James 3:16
What does the word strife even mean? Another interpretation of strife can be offense. When there is offense, frustration, or arguing in the home, how do you keep the peace? When those emotions pop up in the home, it can come from people who are just different from each other.
Having some sort of prayer life, or some devotional time, can help keep strife out of your family, no matter what their age. Even watching Bible stories on TV for a nine-year-old is prayer time. The Word of God settles the home, whether it is differences or different personalities. One of your children may be going through a transition in life and you need to be patient as a parent. However, it starts with the parents who establish the priority of their relationship with God.
In a marriage, opposites attract. Because of those opposites, there can still be a key to success. It is prayer! Prayer brings humility. We as individuals in a marriage have to understand each other’s gifts and what they are carrying. You remove lots of strife when you play your role and not play her/his role. Be true to yourself and understand each other. Truth is, women are completely different from men. For instance, women a lot of times can struggle with confidence. It goes back to the fall of Adam and Eve. Men, you have to be wise in the way you treat your wife, even your daughter. You can’t put them down, because you can make them or break them. A man has to lift up not tear down their daughter or even their wife.
If you get that right you can remove lots of strife from your home. You can’t treat your wife like your son; you can’t treat your wife like your friends. Dwell with her with understanding. Understanding is birthed in prayer and prayer births humility!
1. Guard Your Lips
What are you speaking in your home? Words will create the atmosphere in the home. Out of frustration, we can say the wrong words then try to pull back those words with an apology. Of course, an apology will stomp out strife but we still have to first get better at assessing the climate before we speak. We have to choose our battles in the home wisely. If you feel as a parent you have to bring correction to every little thing then your home will become tense. It is by prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit you will know when to push or push back. Prayer is the key! However, you still have the responsibility of keeping the Word of God and His presence in your home which is the role of the father.
You must understand the demonic spirit of strife! That demon will bring every evil thing–sickness, disease, and bitterness–into your home. If you allow bitterness into your home, in your heart, the Bible says it will defile many. It will defile your children, what you say, and it will create a culture and a mentality in your home. Strife is dangerous ground in your home!
2. Give The Devil No Place
“Neither give place to the devil.”
Ephesians 4:27
Imagine your house and the devil is trying to get a foot in your door. You have to keep kicking him out. You might not recognize his tricks because you think it’s normal frustrations but you have to walk in the love of God. We all have to walk in the love of God and kick him out of our house. Do not let him in because you know now what he wants to bring into your house. Also, don’t go to sleep angry because the devil is working all night long.
When you have young children in your house they bring a lot of strife. Of course, it’s a different kind of strife. When you have a teenager in the home you have to understand the psychological and experiential aspect of this season in their life. When a boy becomes a teenager he changes and it is specifically related to his relationship with his mother. When a little boy wants to become a man, the way their mind works is that their mom is the enemy. The mom is stopping him from becoming a man and he can actually be aggressive toward her. That is a normal behavior and if mom doesn’t understand that, she can think she has done something wrong believing her son hates her. But it is just part of the process of becoming a man.
3. How To Parent God’s Way
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old and he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
I encourage parents with teenagers to invest in a good book on understanding the psychology of a woman and a man at all the different stages of their development. It will help you tremendously and help keep strife out of your home. At the end of the day, you want your teenager to know you love them, respect them, and believe in them through every transition in their life. You have to know who they are, where they are at, how much freedom to give them, when to let go, and when to stay. You can’t accomplish that without prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Your past experiences will try to dictate how you will interact with your children. You must renew your mind and bring those thoughts down so you can parent the way God wants you to: soberly, and according to the Word of God. He honors His Word and if you do your part, God will do his part because His Word never returns back void.
Final Thoughts
Do what my wife and I do in our home. We play the Word of God, we have worship on, we guard what they are watching on their phones, Do not let their phones raise them. You have to watch what they are watching. They need supervision. You can’t just hand your kid a phone without restrictions and boundaries. It is too much access to the world. It will ultimately bring confusion and strife into your home. We must trust God, His word, leave no room for the enemy, and give no place to the devil in our homes.
