Secrets to a Successful Marriage

Secrets to a Successful Marriage

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Whenever there are two people (especially opposites), there will be personality disagreements which happen in any organization, business, church, family, and a marriage. This is normal. We must learn the tools of disagreeing and coming to a conclusion without harboring resentment. We are going to address open, honest, and responsible communication with the help of the Word of God.   

man and woman sitting on dock

1. Root Of Irritability

Surprisingly, the lack of adequate sleep, work, family stress, even the lack of food can be a major cause of irritability, which can invoke disagreements. Yet, as believers, the biggest culprit of irritability can be lack of prayer.

When we find ourselves in the position of irritability, our flesh will ALWAYS want to demand its own way (self-seeking).  However, we are to die to the flesh and allow the fruits of the spirit to dominate our life.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

We must learn to dwell with our spouse and others in understanding and know when to back off (self-control) from disagreement. It is in the disagreement where the fight comes. We as believers must allow the fruits of the spirit to grow in our lives and there is no better way to exercise those fruits than when faced with any disagreements. Truth is, this is not always easy to do; however, if we are aspiring to have a successful marriage, then we must do our best to walk in the God kind of love.

2. Spirit Of Strife

CAUTION: strife in a marriage will open the door to the enemy.  So we must make a genuine commitment that we fear God and refuse to allow the spirit of strife into our marriage, relationships, and homes.  

The spirit of strife will unleash pride and selfishness, bringing destruction into our home.  The Bible says to give no place to the devil.  We must not allow the spirit of strife into our life or our homes.  The destruction strife brings will cause: sickness, poverty, and every evil thing that will destroy a marriage and family.

Choose today to resist the spirit of strife, and with everything in you, war against it and never allow it to enter your life and home.  No matter if we were raised with it, and it was normal to us, we must kick it out of our life!  As believers we have to renew our minds and be transformed by the Word of God.  We are new creations–we have a new life in Christ Jesus.

We are living in busy times while juggling many responsibilities, but in spite of this, we must learn to be led by the spirit of God in everything we do and spend quality time in His presence.  It is through God’s presence and through the Holy Spirit that we get wisdom, strength, and strategy for our marriage, our family, our career, our business, etc.

3. Spirit Of Offense

Spiritual unity in a marriage and abiding in the Biblical principles of walking in the spirit, pave a path of victory and success.  When only one spouse is carrying the spiritual weight in a marriage, difficulty will arise to make room for offense which is a result of strife.  Being out of spiritual harmony with your spouse can become an intense journey and must be navigated by walking in the fruits of the spirit.  However, when both spouses are in spiritual harmony, the journey may not be perfect, but it will help to keep resentment and offense out of the picture.   

4. Conquering The Spirit of Jealousy

Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

Galatians 5:25-26

Jealousy is a form of insecurity, and insecurity is rooted in the spirit of fear. When we start comparing ourselves to others, we are in danger of allowing the spirit of jealousy into our life and our marriage. We must proclaim that we are put together by God Almighty and He has made each of us perfect in His eyes. We must not compare ourselves to anybody else. This applies to our physical and our spiritual self, our material possessions such as: our car, our home, etc.  Remember, we must walk in the fruits of the spirit.

groom beside bride holding bouquet flowers

Final Thoughts

Love is not jealous, and love is not careless.

Jealousy is a form of insecurity and insecurity is rooted in the spirit of fear.  

It is in God’s presence and through the Holy Spirit where we get wisdom, strength, and strategy for our marriage, our family, our career, our business, etc.

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About Pastor Jason

Jason Lozano leads Freedom City Church in Whittier, CA and pastors a global multi-cultural church with thousands of members. His church has one goal and one vision: To Bring God’s Freedom To This Generation.